Monday, January 17, 2011

this year thus far.

So far 2011 has been quite the rollercoaster for me. Coming off a wonderful 2010 I thought things would only get better…..and I'm sure they will eventually.

There are many changes and displaced emotions going on in my work life. I’m not sure exactly how to handle them so for now I’m just riding the wave and going with the flow.

As for personal life I’ve seemed to hit a rough patch but am sure it will be smooth sailing again soon. Bill took me to the doctor on Tuesday after I hit a 101F mark and miserably sick. After discussing some other symptoms I’ve had for over a month the doctor informed me that she believes I have had an early pregnancy miscarriage….[world stops spinning for me right around here]

What do you do when you hear news like this? The doctor assured me that its common and ok, then shared with me that she had experience the same thing with her first child. I was dumbfounded so all I could manage were off beat nods.

Bill comforted me on the ride home, and he held me so tight while sobbed into his chest I thought he just might break me. I was really torn up about this, but over the days have come to understand that it was not time. The conditions weren’t quite right and it just wasn’t meant to be yet. One day, we’ll be blessed with a little mix of Bill and I – just not now.

                                    ( future ninja baby is gonna be bad ass!)

My love and family life has made up for all the crappiness that has been 2011 so far. Hubs has been strong and the comforting voice of reason. He’s shown me more TLC than usual and been a saint for being so accommodating to my ever changing moodswings.(ah, the wonderful cycle of my hormones: I’m so angry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sad! I’m so happy! And so forth – I tell ya hubs is ah-mazing!) Our sweet and silly boy has been just wonderful too. Whenever he see’s that I’m down he comes up to me and gives me a big hug and tells me he loves me.

Yeah, I can take anything 2011 brings as long as these two are by my side.


  1. Hugs to you my friend!
    I too had a miscarriage before I had Sydney and like you was so very sad and scared. It is very common. In fact, three of the girls I'm really close with all had one and then went on to have healthy pregnancies.
    I'm hugging you from a distance since I'm not in today. Know that all things happen for a reason And this too shall pass.
    Speaking from experience I know it doesn't always help to hear that but I am thinking of you.

  2. Thanks so much Onna, that does help to hear. ;). Always encouraging to hear about successful conception afterwards too.